confused

2007-02-01T22:43:00.000+08:00

I felt it few years back and now its raring to come back again, not in the “statelessness” stage anymore. Im not sure about this but in any case, im very thankful for this one person who totally erased everything that I am feeling before this moment. Nothing is taking place so far but im hoping it would. As I said this isn’t a sure thing yet. Whatever happen, I would be very thankful because you gave me another shot to fall in love again. One thing’s for sure, im back on track…=)

2007-01-30T17:34:00.000+08:00

its been a while...

its almost a month since i had my work. It was kinda far from the field that i wanted but no regrets here. Its fun to learn new things with new sets of friends around me. Its difficult to blend from the first time but after some time i get used to them and know their personalities,well not that much though. On the other hand, since i had my training in computers, i become so curious everytime i see a computer, like i wana know their specifications, the components and the likes. haha...=) that's it for my first few weeks of work.
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2006-12-10T00:27:00.000+08:00

im sori for this post,i suggest u dont read it, i just wana let it out of me right at this moment...

i dont wana break down anymore on something of the past. Although ive tried so many times, the pinch in my heart is always there. All through this years ive fought with the feelings i still have. But everytime i hear,see, and remember, im like a turtle without its shell, a baby without its mother, defenseless. In this situation my only refuge is this computer. Lord, pls.enlighten me.

I didnt have any regrets, there weren't. The mistake that ive made i can admit is that ive lied. I lied but never cheated. Very Very thin line between those two. yes, im moved by your statements, pls. understand my sentiments.Thanks...
"Mistakes are as serious as the results they cause!" (dr. house) . Ive made a mistake, and this is the serious result.

2006-12-09T19:55:00.000+08:00

finally i passed all the interview and exams. but still not sure if im gonna be hired. sna pumasa sa training...=)
la maipost so kanta nlng. dedicated to someone... kht d mo alam...

LOVE YOU LATELY
by: daniel powter

You packed your last two bags. A taxi's 'round the bend.
You used to laugh out loud, But you can't remember when.
You lost your lies. It's like your moving out of time, And the whole word crumbles right beneath you.
So, I might've made a few mistakes, But that was back when you would smile,
And we would go everywhere, But we ain't been there for awhile.
And this I know, There's a place that we can go- A place where I can finally let you know.
'Cause I'm the one that loves you lately.
You and me, we got this great thing. We're the only one's that around,
We're the only one's that around this Babylon.
I hope you find whatever you've been lookin' for. Just remember where you're from and who you are,
'Cause there's a thousand lights that'll make you feel brand new, But if you ever lose your way, I'll leave one on for you.
'Cause I'm the one that loves you lately. You and me, we got this great thing.
So, come back and you sit down. Relax.
Everything's to see that you've come a long, long way,
And it's the place that you should be.

2006-07-05T00:32:00.000+08:00

Hbang nsa bhay ako ngaun, eto ang mga ngyyri...

1. hbang nanunuod ako ng tv dito sa sala, kitang kita ko ung mga dumadaan. Alam k na kung sa n ung ruta nila. kaya nagpabili ako ng anu tawag dun? ung madikit para di mkaalis ung daga. kaya bukas, pagkalagay ko nun, cguradong hula xa!
2. Nkkatawa, hehe, hbang nanunuod ulit ako ng tv dito sa sala ng gabi, my naririnig ako sa my ref namin na parang my kumakatok,shit! e d mdyo ntkot ako,(mdyo lng), tiningnan k kng san nanggagaling, to my surprise,hehe, my daga palang nashoot dun sa loob ng lalgyan ng tubig( ung ginagamit pag my dispenser,ung bottle). kawawa naman! hnggang ngaun andun parin!=)
3. Mgsisimba n kmi, momy ko pinaandar na ung kotse, d nya alam nandun pla c tiny(ung aso), narinig ko nlng umiiyak ng mlkas c tiny. my narinig din ako prang ng crack, nagulungan ung isang leg nya. ewan ko lng kng ung buto nya ung ngcrack o iba lng narinig ko. paglbas ko tnry ko himasin ung napilay, muntik n ko mkagat!bwct wla p namang anti-rabies un. d k nga alam kc my sugat ako dun sa muntik na mkgat o iba lng un. pero nkakaawa xa ngaun pramis! d n xa tumatahol, mhina na kmain.
4. Bumili ako ng season2 ng HOUSE. Mganda xa pramis! pnuorin nyo to. lalo na sa mga nagmmed. Dr. Gregory house, sarcastic self centered diagnostistician, very unorthodox pagsolve nya ng mga sakit.Ul love his sarcasm and metaphors. Im so obssesed to it ntapos ko in one day ang season 2 which has 24 episodes with 45 minutes viewing time each. Can't wait for the 3rd season,sa sept. pa start. so mga dec. pa ung dvd series nya. haay...
5.Im wating for the call of IBM coz they said they'll call and meralco... Can't wait to have a job and keep myself busy.Sometimes DOing nothing is harder than doing something.
6.Been watching tennis also. It's wimbledon season and i miss playing tennis. =)
7.Eating is the only way i can keep myself busy if there were nothing to do. I guess im getting HUGE. hehe. but not as huge as ***E. hehe,peace! gues hu..=)
8. Mkpgkwntuhan sa wla p a ring trabho. Bestfriend kmi ni joel... hehe... nuod tau Purefuds-SMB finals, ay Purefud-RB pla hehe...

Gs2 k lng mgpost eh, pgpasenxahan nyo na...=)
**************************

My birthdays through and i wna thank my friends for remembering... Pretty not much a "just turned 21" guy party. We just ate ouside with my parents and relatives. Honestly, i enjoyed it, and missed it. ITs been a while since i spend my birthdays with them. Actually i cant remmber the last.
**************************

2006-06-28T00:33:00.000+08:00

I had it when i was 17. A present from someone i barely knew. It was wrapped beautifully with ribbon on top. It was was beautiful. It was amazing. One problem. It doesn't fit. But i still stick it with me all the time knowing it would change and will soon fit. Soon enough, without hesitation, i threw it like it hasn't taught me a lot. I knew it was wrong. I pick it up again but its too late. It's broken.
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Few hours after my bday... i felt this loneliness inside... I dunno if its gonna be a "happy" day... hope it's not

2006-06-21T01:11:00.001+08:00

I wish we could erase the memories we want to vanish, just like scratching an eraser to a note or drawing written in pencils. But just like them, it could not be erased entirely. There would be always a piece of what we wrote, of what we draw. An evidence of what we've done. Depending on the pressure applied by the writer, there are those who draws or writes so hard even if erased we could notice what he or she had written or draw, there are also those who draws so lightly we could hardly notice what she've drawn. And there are those whoe writes with right kind of pressure. With those letters, drawings we've done, we should make sure of what type of pressure we do. But if you want to completely erase it? then burn it... Uncluckily, and sadly to those who wrote on stones and steels. A special kind of tretment is needed in it. and it's very rare and difficult.
what kind of writer are you?
Dont be too hard on yourself, believe that there would always be another chance and bear in mind that it will always be a better one than the first given to you. Live on! Snap back to reality, we don't always get what we want.
Soooo sad the life....hmp

2006-06-21T01:11:00.000+08:00

2006-06-03T01:58:00.001+08:00

nkaka frustrate tlga pag nagpost ka ng mhaba tpos bglang mageerror ung computer! wla na! ngaun lng ako ngapost e d pa natuloy, wel wla namang kwenta ung sinulat ko, pero nkakainis tlga! haay...
S tgal ng d ko pagbblog, bgla kong nkalimutan pasword ko d2, 2 oras ko iniisip nkasave pla sa celfone ko!
+++++++++++++++++++++
Nagbbrowse ako ng archives sa blog ko, tgal na pla, dami ko na nasulat, nkakatawa, nkakalungkot, nkakainis dhil paulitulit, at higit sa lhat, ang drama pla!(hehe)...
Wel, aus lng, d2 k kc nabubuhos almost lhat ng frustrations ko...
+++++++++++++++++++++
Kmusta na?kuntento ka na ba sa buhay mo? ako oo, kaw? ndi p yta eh, letting go doesn't mean u cant love her anymore..Ha? nu cnsbi mo? e wla lng, asar la pa kong tbho! buti nlng my bdmnton at hndi sobrang bum sa bhay. ingat nlng! bye...
Yey! got my new shoes, ipod and bdmnton racquet.... still theres missing... dunno what it is... theres always that something we can never have...sad but true...
++++++++++++++++++++
Tgal ko ng d ngbblog la pa rin ako maisulat ng matino! sa susunod n nga lng... nonsense na ito...

2006-06-03T01:58:00.000+08:00

2006-04-20T20:54:00.000+08:00

i wus quietly watchin "kim sam soon" a primetime program of chanel 7 with my little sister when this question popped out after it, "mahal mo pa ba ang first love mo?"... i didn't react, and suddenly my sister said
S: C kuya love pa c aiko, db? (started looking at me)
Me: Ha? tagal na nun noh! (with a smile at my face)
S: Huuu..
after that, i dunno what to say... maybe she's right...
Haay,pati xa nhhlata na ung mga bagay na to...
dunno what to do either....
**************************************************************************
Lunes
Join the club
Unang araw kaybilis ng galawMay kalaliman ang pagtutol sa pag ayawNa kalimutan ka kahit pa may iba At sa muli magbabalik sakin ang lahat
Matatangap ba ako, kung magbabalik sa iyoSakit ng sinapit ay please wag nang magtampoWala man akong nagawa nung unang ikay nawala

**************************************************************************
Been a bum the last few weeks. Seriously i dunno yet what to do after summer. Hope that i'd be hired before this summer ends. And there i would think hard of what i really want to do in my life...

2006-04-02T19:12:00.000+08:00

its been a while...i miss writing my thoughts here... there's this one night that im so itchy to do this blog thing but unfortunately i can't because our computer was jammed... i even missed the chance to thank all of you my blockfriends... d ko n iisa isahin bsta thank you sa inyong lhat at npasaya nyo ang aking stay sa ust... my parents and relatives who supported me all the way... my love one, tnx for the time you shared with me, be it good or bad, i loved you more because of that until now... and of course to God... These thank you's may be too late but better late than never...
My first two yrs, honestly wasn't spend mostly in UST but to her...It was a fast two yrs. i guess... but it has great memories to chreish from...thanks
The next two yrs., that was then i finally met you guys, get to know each and everyone of you,well at least...thanks
Haay,,, this wasn't suppose to be what i'l be writing but anywei it's nice to say thanks to every one who created an impact in your life, big or small. Thanks from the bottom of my heart...

2006-03-01T22:38:00.000+08:00

where are you?? pakita ka na!
nklimutan ko na mgmahal...
pakita mo ulit sakin kng pano...
mailto:bumer!@#$%#@
Where are you?? i know ur out there...
haay, npaka hopelessromantic... pathetic(understatement)

2006-03-01T22:15:00.000+08:00

We can always bring back the times when we made a mistake without suffering from the hurt feelings again but to learn from it and change with it, change for the better. We learn from mistakes, we learn from sufferings. That's the best thing to happen to all of us, coz we all know that those things would trully enlighten our past mistakes with new and right decisions.

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Ang pupu, pag tumigas, anu mngyayari?
wla lang...
lalayo ung langaw
mwwla na ung amoy na nagiging silbi nya
wts next? balewalang tinatapaktapakan, cnisipa, at inaalis sa kanyang lugar.
Pagkatapos,wla na... forever na xa ganun...

Its so annoying and painful if someone doesn't appreciate what ur duin for them...wat a life

2006-02-05T21:41:00.000+08:00

I wish i have the strength coz im so weak
im falling on my knees breakin down and cry...

2006-02-05T21:20:00.000+08:00

HEy...
im here...sa rehab...
wlang pinagkaiba sa labas...
ayoko lng,malungkot, wlng mgawa, wlang bisyo...
ang hirap, hinahanap ko pa rin ung ginagawa ko s lbas...
pero buti nlng, dumadalaw xa minsan...o naghahallucinate lng ako?
pg dumadalaw xa, saya ko, pero minsan iniiwasan ko na...
gusto ko na gumaling. Pero sa dami man yang pinsalang nagawa,
nagpapasalamat ako.
Sobrang pinalagaya mo ang buhay ko.
Sige, takas lang ako dito sa rehab magcomputer eh, nkatakas ako...haha
Mkulit pa rin ako...ayoko pa rin gumaling...ayoko!!
labas nyo n ko!

2006-01-31T22:47:00.000+08:00

Ayoko ng maging adik.
Sobrang nalululong na ako sa masamang bisyo na gingawa ko ngaun.
High na high na ako di ko na alam kung ano ba tlga ang tama.
Minsan sinsaktan ko na ang sarili ko ndi ko na nararamdaman.
Ang sarap... wlang kpantay ung nraramdman ko...
Pero sa huli naisip ko, nakita ko ang sarili ko sa salamin

sobrang sabog sa mga pinagagagawa sa buhay.
Puno na ako ng sugat na hindi ko manlamang naramdaman.
Ngaun unti unti ko ng nraramdman. Ang kirot na dulot nitong mapaminsalang bisyo.
Hindi ko maikakaila kung gano kasarap ang bingay sa akin nito
subalit kung hindi ko ito titigilan, marahil masira ang buhay ko.
Gaya ng ibang mga adik, hindi ito mawawala sa sistema ko.
Palagi ko itong hahanaphanapin dahil minsa'y sinakop mo ang aking buong katawan,
buong pagkatao.
Mga kaibigan... iparehab nyo na ako! tulungan nyo ako... mtgal ko na itinatago ito sa inyo
sna mabasa nyo ito kaagad...
Sa aking bisyo, babalik balikan kita...
Sna sa rehab, my katulad mo rin. dahil sobrang adik ako sayo.Bka mamatay ako ng di oras dito sa computer shop.
Pagbalik ko sa bahay, nandun ka ulit hihithiting mabuti. at handang maadik muli...

Bwahahaha!!! Heaven pare!!!

2006-01-24T20:55:00.000+08:00

You Were There
by Babyface
Time passes, the world changes But I'm still the same ole' kid
And your jokes still bring me laughter As if you still were here
And it hurtsWhen I smile'Cause my heart still remembersWhen you were around
'Cause you were thereWhen no one wasJust when I thought nobody cared
You showed me love'Cause you were my friend
You always told meAnd I am still hereBecause you were there
So precious, small treasuresA time when truth was innocent
True friendship, was all we were afterA place where kids could still be kids
And it hurtsBut I'm glad'Cause at least I was blessedTo have you as my friend
You're my best friend
There are no accidents God has a plan for everyone
And he brought you in my life To show me what a good friendship was

This one's for you...=)

2006-01-24T20:48:00.000+08:00

Dnh - Because I Love You
There was a time when i used to run away
Anytime i started to fall Cause love's never been very kind to me, no baby
Not very kind at allUntil youYou stole my heart away
Somehow you helped restore my faithAnd something i thought wasn't for me
Now comes so easily
Because i love youYou're the flame that sets my soul on fire
That special girl i pray for every nightThat pretty melody
That plays over and over again in my head
Because i love you(forever stare at you and never get tired)
Honey i'm ready to spend my whole life with youCause i love you(yes i do)
I never thought in a million yearsThat i could feel the way that i feel, no
How i get butterflies (get butterflies)Whenever your lips touch mine
I must confess my dearThat it was instantly right from the start
A special bond between you and my heartHow it skips a beat whenever our eyes meet
And simply said the reason
i know there'll be differences we have along the way
Where our views may not always be the sameBut i swear i'll try
To hear out your sighAnd compromise cuz i realize
That with you i wanna spend my it's all
becauseI love you
this one's for me...=)

2006-01-11T13:49:00.000+08:00

Someday
Barbie Almalbis
Alone and misunderstood That's why I came to you
The feelings I have inside With you, I can't hide I see that life's a game
Get hurt, but who's to blame I guess I'm just a child
In a world that's very wild
REFRAIN Where can I find a place that's full of tenderness
I get there when I close my eyes and hold and pray
That you and I will be there
CHORUS
Someday, I say We'll make a brighter day better than our yesterday
Someday, I say We'll make a brighter day but today's our chance to be there (This is our chance to be there)

Is there a room for change There are things to rearrange
I thought that we are young And temptations are strong
But I've got to start with me It's hard but let it be It may take some time
Fixing up a perfect life

Once in a while, you get down and get wild Set the rain hope so I took some dope
What happened to your start, not a dumb old fun I had renewed my faith, better not be late
'Cause I hate to go back again wasting my life and sin I got my Lord to obey now, so I say now
Take a ride home, go, take a ride home, go Back to the Father
To do the chance to be there Someday, I say But today's our chance
We'll make a brighter day and today's our chance to be there

2005-12-31T01:53:00.000+08:00

i wus browsing through my baby photo album... and guess what... ang cute cute ko! haha... power tripping!...

2005-12-29T00:53:00.001+08:00

I love Orange and Lemons... =)

merry xmas!

2005-12-25T10:12:00.000+08:00

Not the happiest of them all, but maybe this year has taught me a lot of things.
1.Number one is sacrifice. Sacrifice in all the things i do. Gimiks, hobbies, friends. Generally my happiness is not usual when sacrifice is on my way. Nevertheless it makes me whole, complete, because i learn from it, the sufferings, the pain without these, i would not be a better person. It may not be visible or you may not see it in my actions or words but i know ive changed because of this.
2.Patience is a virtue. We all wait for something, someone, somewhere. Not all we want comes when we want it to. Sometimes, it is better to be patiently waiting for it than reside to something else or someone else. But in contrast,haha, we cant wait forever.
3. The value of friendship. This relationship should never be misunderstood as a "stepping stone" in a more deeper relationship we call romantic love. I dont know, maybe someone may disagree but from my point of view, it is so dangerous. When that friendship is broken, and worst comes to worst, it is very hard to put it back again. Being friends is still the best choice.
4. Optimism. Im trying my best though yes its very hard for me, im trying to be optimistic once in a while and it works somehow.
Ooops, got to go mamamasko pa ko,hehe, joke... next time nlng ulit,
MERY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!...godbless

2005-12-24T19:19:00.000+08:00

life...learn to deal with it...or suffer

fixed with her...

2005-12-19T23:28:00.000+08:00

Its been almost 4 years and counting since i met her, i befriended her, i love her. And within those years that came, still no part of my feelings had went away. Its just like im fixed with her. No amount can measure how much i really treasure this bestfriend of mine. Ive tried my best to hide what i feel because i know deep inside, that ther would never be another one, another chance. What im doing right now is im showing her with all the strength i got that i would never leave her side no matter what happens between us.
Yes, it may be irritating...bt can't help it...
To everyone whos sick and tired of my stories, my apology.
thanks!

because my angel has flown away from me

2005-12-19T22:41:00.000+08:00

There are times when I’m lying in my bed
How I bellow and cry from this stupid get
And my eyes are like windshields on a rainy dayAlmost rubbed-out, swelling as I keep on
Digging my face in these cold hands of mine
Heaven knows how embittered I am

CHORUS
Cause this angel has flown away from me
Leaving me in drunken misery
I should have clipped her wingsAnd made her mine for all eternity
Now this angel has flown away from meThought I had the strength to set her free
I did what I did because I love her so
Will she ever find her way back home to me, ahh

INTERLUDE
Im so tired, I feel like catching forty-winks
Being up all night in this elbow-room that puts me in a trance
Where hopes and dreams come true
Now, my lips are burning and my eyes are hurting
From these fumes I make, still I light another cigarette
Just to pass my time, oh, heaven knows how embittered I am

cause my angel has flown away from me...hope she finds her way back home....to me...
my sweetest angel ...i miss you...

my date that was...

2005-12-11T20:20:00.000+08:00

2 days ago i had a date, uhmmm, if i may say so. It was really fun being with her. For all the years iv waited, this is my chance to see her again, in flesh. I had a great time with her, though i had some mood swings that night.
Uhm i jus wana say sori if ive come to the limit. I jus couldnt help myself. Hope u understand.
But really, i swear, tnx for that wonderful night. Thanks a lot. If it wouldn't be too much, can i spend another time with you. You only....hehe.joke...
Ei u owe me a promise u didnt do that night...=)

2005-11-22T21:57:00.000+08:00

It seems like im floating in the air...
no im not high or something...
i just don't know what im doing up here...
iv got nowhere to go...

2005-11-20T21:18:00.000+08:00

...My mind seeks, but my heart speaks...

ala lng...bye...

feels like home...again

2005-11-11T22:29:00.000+08:00

Feels Like Home -Chantal Kreviazuk

Theres something in your eyes Makes me want to lose myself Makes me want to lose myself
In your arms
Theres something in your voice Makes my heart beat fast Hope this feeling lasts
The rest of my life If you knew how lonely my life has been And theyll know I've been so alone
And if you knew how I wanted someone to call my love And change my life the way you've done

It feels like home to me It feels like home to me It feels like Im all the way back where I come from
It feels like home to me It feels like home to me It feels like Im all the way back where I belong

A window breaks Down the long dark street
And a siren wails In the night But Im all right Cuz I have you here with me
And I can almost see Through the dark there is light
Well, if you knew how much this moment means to me And how long Ive waited for your touch
And if you knew how happy you were making me I never thought that Id love anyone so much
It feels like home to me It feels like home to me It feels like Im all the way back where I come from
It feels like home to me It feels like home to me It feels like Im all the way back where I belong It feels like Im all the way back where I belong

haaay....sarap mangarap noh? pero ok lng kht gn2...db? bsta.... cge bbye...=) hehe

2005-11-08T17:52:00.000+08:00

Behind some of my recent posts are songs which dictates what i feel to write for that day.

And most of the time, i feel like listening to mellow music. Love songs in which i can relate on what happen that day.

No wonder if im posting depressive things and love statements. These are the things that caught me these past few weeks.

As of right now, im happy with the way wheels are turning.

Hope this will go a long way...=)

2005-10-27T22:52:00.000+08:00

iv found my inspiration, im more motivated now, to do well with the best of my ability in everything that i do. Ngaun ko lng naisip how important an inspiration is in my life. I want to have a bright future,not just a "tambay sa bahay" after graduation. I want to prove something, and i want it to be seen. Ayokong mpahiya sa iba, lalo na sa mahal ko.
My dream is to have a happy family of my own. Not so rich, not even poor. I jus want an average life having the basic necessities. I want the best for my family.
But all of these things is yet to be seen. Nothing is certain. i jus hope nasakin pa rin ung drive na yan in the following years to come.
To my inspiration, thanks for being one. You know hu you are.=) you make me smile...

to everybody

2005-10-11T22:31:00.000+08:00

A text message ive recived last wek goes like this.
Excerpt: "if i am wating for my friend lary, and he has not shown up an hour past d agrid time,
i dont start cursing his irresponsibility and thoughtlessness. Years of friendship taught me that lary is prompt and reliable. I assume that somthing, maybe a flat tire, or accident over which he had no control, has thwarted his plans. Those i love, i credit for good things,and try not to blame them for bad, assuming that other factors are at work."
Don't know if this is the exact message cause i dnt have my fone with me.
-- If someone makes a mistake, do you know that he wants to make that mistake? Often times we overlook someones mistake and quickly attributing it to them, not knowing the factors or reasons why did he do this or that. For us,especially my friends, weve known each other for barely 4 years now. I think its time for us now, to think, and understand each other to avoid any conflicts that may arise. As the excerpt says, "years of friendship has taught me taht lary is prompt and reliable".
--advice:read between the lines.amazing.hehe...

2005-10-10T00:55:00.000+08:00

for my third and non sense post for the day.

Imagine ourselves crying. Crying for someone that we love.
Love that was once true and cherished, is now nothing no more.
Suddenly, we feel that the last teardrop would fall.
Imagine, that last teardrop is the one you love. The one you loved for a long time.
The question: would you let it fall? or would you close your eyes,
and never give it up and wake up from your bad dream?
What would it be?
*******************************
Before crying, do you dedicate it to the one youre crying for?
Funny isnt it? "Im dedicating these tears to the one who makes me cry,
because of this, ive learned, i know where i stand, i know now what to do,
and because of these, ironic, i have loved you more"
*******************************
Put%^&@%, lang mgawa...kung ano ano na pnagssulat ko...hehe

2005-10-09T13:59:00.000+08:00

funny how life...

can blind us with wat we see.
decieve us with wat we feel.

********************************

just when i thought i was doing well.
just when i thougt it was over.

well...just a thought...it wasn't .... not even close.

******************************************

im going crazy... need psychologist...haha

2005-10-09T13:52:00.000+08:00

How can i not love you
Cannot touch, Cannot hold, Cannot be togetherCannot love, Cannot kiss, Cannot love eachotherMust be strong and we must let goCannot say what our hearts must know

How can I not love youWhat do I tell my heartWhen do I not want you here in my armsHow does one walks awayFrom all of the memories How do I not miss you when you are gone

Cannot trip, Cannot share sweet and tender momentsCannot feel how we feel, Must pretend it's overMust be brave and we must go on, Must not sayWat we no longer

Must be brave and we must be strongCannot say what we no longer

wla lng....

2005-10-07T22:33:00.000+08:00

MAKE IT REAL

U Turn

its been a yearwe met each other hereHere I am all aloneas thoughts of you go onHear me cryin out to youyou said, Never, never would I leaveHeres a tear from me to youand maybe it will make you hear me

CHORUS:

I loved youYou didnt feel the sameThough were apartYoure in my heartGive me one more chance to Make it real

In a dream you are hereYou smile and hold me nearAnd in my heart Ill pretendthat you are here againHear me cryin out to youYou said, Never, never would I leaveHeres a tear from me to youand maybe it will make you hear me

(Chorus)

Give me one more chance toMake it real

Give me one more chance to, make it real......

though time is keeping us apart

though im not the one in ur heart

though i dont play a special part

im always dreaming of you, and i hope once more ,we could make it real

2005-09-22T00:02:00.000+08:00

i dont know how to start.im not taking one side of he story. i've heard both sides. i just want to help.
what keeps this long? its hard for me even ive been through this battle a long time ago. who wins? niether.
its just now that i realize that i should do this, do that. If i win the other also win. ITs a mutual effort. I know its not that easy especially when you really value that person. but then, in time youl come to realize that you shouldve done it earlier. to hold back is something i regreted. i dnt wnt you to experience it. it would only hurt you more.
Take the initiative. lower your pride. Take his/her mistakes. besides no one is perfect.
Its just a burst of emotion and a doze of it will lead to unstable and not advicable reactions. Take your time.
you have enough of it. think. believe. forgive. miscommunications. clarify it. then be the judge.
I hope this would end. because non of us will benefit through it. lets have a world with peace and justice.

I dont know if this would only worsen the situation. i jus make my guts higher to write this.
im not in the position to tell this. i jus wana help. hope this one works.
pray to your gods. they can also ease the pain.

2005-09-19T21:14:00.000+08:00

to know someone's appreciating and acknowledging every work that you do, is a very good motivation to do more and do good on it.
and to know that someone's always visiting my blog and reading every scrap of it makes me feel nice and comfortable.
Thanks! to all...=)

2005-09-13T00:22:00.000+08:00

nkakaasar!!! gumawa ako ng tula pgkatapos nabura? bwiset! ayoko nang uliten!!!!
!!@@#%%^&&!!!!! makpag aral n nga lang!!!! bwcet!!!

2005-09-07T00:21:00.000+08:00

its nice to know that even for a long tym youre still remembered by the one very special to you...thnx a lot!...=)

2005-08-13T00:07:00.000+08:00

sorry kung puro songs posts ko. Not in the mood to post something worth reading (if its worth reading nga)...eun...

Maybe i found a song for myself...let that be enough...

Enough...simple things that would make me special in your eyes. let that be enough...

here it is...

"Let That Be Enough"-switchfoot

I wish I had what I needed To be on my own

Cause I feel so defeated And Im feeling alone

And it all seems so helpless And I have no plans

I'm a plane in the sunset With nowhere to land

And all I see It could never make me happy

And all my sand castles Spend their time collapsing

Let me know that You hear me Let me know Your touch

Let me know that You love me And let that be enough

It's my birthday tomorrowNo one here could knowI was born this

Thursday22 years ago And I feel stuckWatching history repeating

Yeah, who am I?Just a kid who knows he's needy

Let me know that You hear meLet me know Your touchLet me know that You love me

And let that be enough

2005-08-04T00:30:00.000+08:00

im in love again...sadly...she wont love me back...=(

dedicate ko nlng to sknya...

WHENEVER YOU CALL (Mariah Carey feat. brian mcknight)

Love wandered inside Stronger than you Stronger than I And now that it has begun We cannot turn back We can only turn into one

I won’t ever be too far away to feel you And I won’t hesitate at all Whenever you call And I’ll always remember The part of you so tender I’ll be the one to catch your fall Whenever you call

And I’m truly inspired Finding my soul There in your eyes And you Have opened my heart And lifted me inside By showing me yourself Undisguised

And I won’t ever be too far away to feel you And I won’t hesitate at all Whenever you call And I’ll always remember The part of you so tender I’ll be the one to catch your fall Whenever you call

And I will breathe for you each day Comfort you through all the pain Gently kiss your fears away You can turn to me and cry Always understand that I Give you all I am inside

And I won’t ever be too far away to feel you And I won’t hesitate at all Whenever you call
I won’t ever be too far away to feel you And I won’t hesitate at all Whenever you call I’ll always remember The part of you so tender And be the one to catch your fall Whenever you call Whenever you call Whenever you call...

--I love you!--

what??not again...=(

2005-07-28T23:18:00.000+08:00

When will we know if the one we like or love doesn't have anything for us anymore or should i say, no magic anymore...??? It really hurts when we know they dont love us anymore.
Feelings for someone would really be lost in a certain way or time if not complemented with the magic formula. But how funny sometimes, that even time wouldn't let us go away with this feelings and still hurts us no matter how hard we try to forget her/him by loving someone else. I still dont believe in fate. Destiny??nah!... But to show how we really feel even not seen ( even if they doesnt really care anymore), by them would really help a lot. It can ease the pain inside us. And for me, letting out bad feeling through writing, and letting everyone know how i feel can ease the burden lurking inside us. Like me, i still love her, but time wont permit and maybe she wont permit too. But who knows... somehow somewhere.

haaaay....ang hirap mag isa

2005-07-24T22:00:00.000+08:00

Haaay.... dito ako sa computer shop sa my apartment namin... la akong mgwa so nag internet nlng ako...
Nandito na ako nung saturday pa... Pmnta ako para sa thesis namin... pgkatpos... nkatulog ako...
Yun na ang simula ng pangungulila ko...
PAg gcing ko, sira ang celfone ko d tuloy ako mka text. Tapos, ung laptop nasa classmate ko nklimutan ko kunin kasi nkatulog nga ako. Biinuksan ko ung tv wlng mgndang plabas.
Haaay.... pumunta ko kila kyang, nglakad ako khit malayo... pgdating ko dun wla pla xa... so bumalik ako nglakad ulit ako... kumain ako magisa sa jolibee since wla akong ksma...
Si gjeff na kapitbahay k sa dorm wla rin... totally wla akong kasama... anu pa ba pde kong gawin??? 12 ata or 1 nag net ako... nkalimutan ko ung walet ko sa aprtment... agen, nglalakad nnmn ako mag isa. Pagbalik ko, ung kachat ko dpat umalis na, and worse nagalit xa kasi d ko xa nsbhan na nklimutan ko ung walet ko... ayan, kaisaisa kong ksma, nwala pa...
Ngaung sunday... wla pa rin akong ksma, except nung nag group session kami sa mga players. Pgktpos gunbound tas cnundo ako pumunta kami ng grinhills pra mamasyal... Wla lng... npagod lng ako...
Eto ako ngaun... nag iisa... naghahanap ng ksama... lhat ng mga ksama ko dati... my kasama na ngaun...=( d ko alam kung malulungkot ako o maiinis...
Pero majority ng nararamdaman ko ngaun, lungkot!
Ang hirap magisa... literally, and emotionally...
Sna my bulag na makakakita sakin(labo noh?), at smahan ako...
Ito, ngaun ko ulit nararamdaman ang pagkwala ng minamahal...
Sa mga single...oo, msaya tau dhil malaya tau kung anu gusto nating gawin...
Pero, sooner or later... Maiintindihan nyo rin ang sinasabi ko...
Mahirap mag isa...
Pamilya, kaibigan, at natatanging minamahal...
Mwala ang isa dyan... PAra sakin... kulang na ang buhay. Prang nwala ang mundo ko.
Haay... hirap noh... hirap makinig sa nagiisa...nagsusulat ng kung anu anu... wla namang katuturan... Pasenxa na...

2005-07-17T01:40:00.000+08:00

eto po ung lyrics ng background song, lalng mapost so ito nlng muna sa ngaun...bbye...

RIGHT HERE WAITING
Oceans apart day after dayAnd I slowly go insaneI hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain

If I see you next to neverHow can we say forever

Wherever you goWhatever you doI will be right here waiting for youWhatever it takesOr how my heart breaksI will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all the timesThat I though would last somehowI hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now
Oh, can't you see it babyYou've got me goin' CrAzY

Wherever you goWhatever you doI will be right here waiting for youWhatever it takesOr how my heart breaksI will be right here waiting for you

I wonder how we can surviveThis romanceBut in the end if I'm with youI'll take the chanceOh, can't you see it babyYou've got me goin' cRaZyWherever you go

Whatever you doI will be right here waiting for youWhatever it takesOr how my heart breaksI will be right here waiting for you

2005-07-14T23:02:00.000+08:00

As i enter the college life, everything was so confusing...it was so complicated.... wat make it complicated is the way i complicate the things happening to me... i mean, magnjifying or exagerating every event that took place just backfires to me... This gives me maybe my low-self esteem... Im always confused...

i hope everything wud be clear, now that im about to leave college life...(i hope so)

Low self esteem, leads to depression that causes me headaches, that leads to confusion... wahaha, confused na kau?

sowi... medyo malabo, i can't really say wat i want to say paero sana u get wat im tryin to say....

2005-07-02T23:45:00.000+08:00

THE DAY YOU SAID GOODNIGHT
Hale

Take me as you are,
Push me off the roadthe sadness,
I need this time to be with you
I'm freezing in the sun;
I'm burning in the rain
The silence;
I'm screaming,
Calling out your name.
And i do reside in your light
Put out the fire with me and find
Yeah you'll lose the side of your circles
That's what i'll do if we say goodbye.
To be is all i gotta be
And all that i see
And all that i need this time
To me the life you gave me
The day you said goodnight.
The calmness in your face
That i see through the night
The warmth of your light is pressing unto us
You didn't ask me why
I never would have known oblivion is falling down.
And i do reside in your hear
Put out the fire with me and find
Yeah you'll lose the side of your circles
That's what i'll do if we say goodbye.
To be is all i gotta be
And all that i see
And all that i need this time
To me the life you gave me
The day you said goodnight.
If you could only know me like your prayers at night
Then everything between you and me will be all
Right.
To be is all i gotta be
And all that i see
And all that i need this time
To me the life you gave me
The day you said goodnight.
She's already taken,
She's already taken
She's already taken me
She's already taken,
She's already taken
She's already taken me.
The day you said goodnight

happy bday to me

2005-07-02T04:23:00.000+08:00

I celebrated my bday last june 28... And this time... it wus jus lyk a normal day for me, except people greeting me happy bdays... It is not usual for me to say that my bday is just a normal day for me cause i treated all my bdays a special day always... But i don't know what i feel this time...it's just like that everythings new in my life... Just like a continuos line that suddenly got broken and then started all over again in my bday this year...
Surely my life will change soon because i'll be graduating hopefully next year and take the path i want to take. I just hope and pray that i'll always make the right decisions.
Can't think of sensible thoughts..

it's all comin' back

2005-06-26T00:13:00.000+08:00

Hey...dont read this if you cant stand all the depressing things im posting.

It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday DAMN it!

Just when i thought that im over her
Just when i thought that i dont love her anymore
Just when i thought that i dont care about her anymore
Just when i thought that im now doin just fine

My thoughts arent reliable. I made a mistake. She has created such a great impact. Very obvious. For if not, i wouldnt be writing this anymore. Pls. dont blame me if i cant get over. I'm such a big loser. pathetic me.

I miss all the times we are together
I miss the crying and laughing
I miss the happy as well as sad moments
I miss the exchaging of sweet thoughts bout each other
I miss all the advices weve given each other
I miss the talks
I miss everything....as in everything....everything bout you...

But then again...one snap... *snap* im back to what we call "reality!"...

tell me....

2005-06-25T23:04:00.000+08:00

i really like mymp songs right now. i like her soothing voice that touches my heart and relaxes my mind everytime i hear their songs that makes me want to fall in love again, with her or with another. And another thing it reminds me of someone.... i love almost all of their songs but thse two is my favorite....

Tell Me Where It Hurts
Why is that sad look in your eyesWhy are you crying?Tell me now, tell me nowTell me, why you're feelin' this wayI hate to see you so down, oh baby!
Is it your heartOh, that's breakin' all in piecesMakin' you cryMakin' you feel blueIs there anything that I can do
[
CHORUS:]Why don't you tell me where it hurts now, babyAnd I'll do my best to make it betterYes, I'll do my best to make the tears all go awayJust tell me where it hurtsNow, tell meAnd I love you with a love so tenderOh and if you let me stayI'll love all of the hurt away

Where are all those tears coming fromWhy are they falling?somebody, somebody, somebody leave your heart in the cold
You just need somebody to hold on, baby(Give me a chance)To put back all the piecesTake hold of your heartMake it just like newThere's so many things that I can do [CHORUS]

Is it your heartOh, that's breakin' all in piecesMakin' you cryMakin' you feel blueIs there anything that I can do[CHORUS]

Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me babyTell me, tell me, tell me, tell meAnd I'll do my best to make it betterYes, I'll do my best to make the tears all go awayJust tell me where it hurtsNow, tell meAnd I love you with a love so tenderOh, and if you let me stayI'll love all of the hurt away

isa pa...
Dedicated to someone....=) thanx 4 everythin'

Especially For You
by M.Y.M.P.
album: Versions

Especially for you
I wanna let you know what I was
Going through
All the time we were apart I thought
Of you
You were in my heart
My love never changed
I still feel the same

Especially for you
I wanna tell you I was feeling that
Way too
And if dreams were wings, you
Know
I would have flown to you
To be where you are
No matter how far
And now that I’m next to you

No more dreaming about
Tomorrow
Forget the loneliness and the sorrow
I’ve got to say
It’s all because of you

CHORUS:
And now were back together,
Together
I wanna show you my heart is oh so true
And all the love I have is
Especially for you

Especially for you
I wanna tell you, you mean all the world to me
How I’m certain that our love was
Meant to be
You changed my life
You showed me the way
And now I’m next to you

I’ve waited long enough to find you
I wanna put all the hurt behind you
And I wanna bring out the love
Inside you, oh and

the week that was...

2005-06-17T21:10:00.000+08:00

last week was the first week of our classes though we only had 1 day of class, actually half day lang, this week. 2 subjects na ung napasukan namin. That was spanish 101, and scl3.
But before that, i want to tell what happened to me this week starting from mon.

MONDAY...sa apartment na ako.gabi na ko nkrating, nandun na sila rhenz, joel tska c mabelle. Kala ko ok na ako at wla na ko sa bhay namin,nkkasawa at wla kcng mgwa, un pla hindi...

TUESDAY...As usual, puyat, di nk2log ng maaga, nsanay na kcng puyat. aga kong nagicing, 6 gcng na pero 3 lng ako nk2log. Nakita ko si joel naka uniform! aba, wla namng pasok ah! sbi ko. Sbi nya di naman sure na wlng pasok, so pumasok xa sabi ko txt nya ko pag meron, tinext ko pa c sd kung papasok xa. nagtext si joel, sabi meron pero sarado pa ung rum. so ngmadali akong maligo at magbihis. Ust na ko in 15 min., nglalakad ako sa my hi skul, nakita ko si joel mabel at gj!(wud u belive mas maaga skin si gjeff!)hehe. so eun, sbi nila, thursday pasok! 1 pm! waaaah!!!! sarap ng 2log ko! bkt??!!! kmain kami jolibee. pagkauwi? tulog! maghapon....

WEDNESDAY...puyat nnman.ito ang pinaka boring na araw ko ngaung linggo! pgkgcng ko?wla c joel, wla na c rhenz. Wla akong kasama! tv,electric fan at laptop! (my treasured belongings) without them?panu na ko??? so un. maghapon, ako lng magisa knakausap ung sarili. Baliw nnman ako! Nung kinagabihan, si joel at gjeff naginuman. kami ni rhenz, kmain sa 7-11 bumili ako ng MILK para antukin! at effective!hehe un nlng ininum ko imbes na beer. my mggalit kc,hehe jke! so un another day passed.

THURSDAY... worst nightmare!!!! i woke up in heat! i woke up with heat heat starting to sorround our place. I saw the electric fan was off. I thot brown out lang, lumapit ako pra patayin. PAgkahawak ko,di ko pa napipihit ung switch. *spArk*KABOom# what the fu**k!!! sira ang electric fan!!!! sa dinami dami un pa! the night was horrible! our room was... well... "a lot like hell"!! i swear! you wudn't stand the heat! naubusan pa kami ng tubig. naligo ako, pagkalabas ko, aba!my pawis na ko! put*A! buti nlng inoffer ni gj electric fan nila, kya lng nung 12 pa! kpg mag aaircon na sila! patay! puyat nnman...

and lastly FRIDAY... no classes.... but there is a schedule for badminton with my friends... 5 lang kami! ung iba kasi dyan! nag backout bigla!!! (SD ung initials ng surname nya!) klala mo kung sino ka! hehe... so un from 10 till 4:30? badminton all day! it was fun but tiring... but not till this frend of myn spoiled the fun..bsta... un n un... and that was it....

ohhh...before i forgot, we learned a little bit of spanish...(xmpre spanish class un!)
it was fun! pero mhrap din...
HALO! como este ustad?=)
Buenos noche senorito/as!
Salud! Hasta luega!
Gracias mi amigo....=)

Tatanga tanga kasi eh!....

2005-06-03T00:35:00.000+08:00

haay...it's me again....
d ko alam....
sa sobrang dami ngyayari at mangyayari sa buhay ko ngaun, d ko alam kung bakit wala pa rin akong magawa...boring! very ironic huh...
pero nung mga nagdang araw...di ko rin alam, biglabigal nalang akong nawawala sa sarili ko... halimbawa lang eto...
***naliligo ako, nagshampoo na ako tas nagsabon tas nagpunas na ako... di ko alam pagkatapos ko mag punas ng katawan, inabot ko ung tabo, tas nagbuhos ako ako ulit...at take note, nagshampoo pa ulit ako...nalaman ko nalang nung habang nagshashampoo ako pangalawa na pla un! haaay...isa pa
*** inutusan ako pumunta ng bayan kaninang hapon. Paglabas ko ng bahay sumakay ako ng tricycle sabi ko "ma, Sta.Rita po", e di sumakay na ako. Nung nasa kalahati na ng biyahe, nun ko lng nlman bat ako dito papunta??? shit! kasi opposite way at npkalayo sa byan ng Sta.Rita. Papunta na ng manila un eh... e di pinabalik ko ung tricycle, masama pa, wla na akong pera pgditng ko sa bayan dhil naubos sa pamasahe! haaay....isa pa
***Nagtext si lele sakin kagabi ata, sabi nya, "jelo!laru daw tau ng gunbound sa TUES. sabi ni esdi!" sabi ko, cge ok lng! pgkasend ko, sbi ko panu un eh wla nmng computer shop dito samin. Tinawagan ko si sd, tinanong ko sabi ko sabay nlng kami mglaro. Tapos sabi ni sd, tange! Tues. kaya e june 7,enrolment natin!...waah! wla lng, natawa nlng ako. Onga pala enrolment sa tuesday. eun sabi ko, cge laru tau! tas binaba ko na. Tas nagtext rin pla si lele, ganun din cnabi sakin...waaahh!

nu na ngyri skin!hehe... prang nababalisa ako... di ko alm pinag gagagawa ko!...hnggang dito nlng!mgandang umaga!=)

dreams5

2005-06-03T00:08:00.000+08:00

Another dream last night occured the night after that dramatic dream i post.
To tell you what,it's her again and it is the exact opposite of what i had dreamt of last last night. It was a happy situation but my dream last night was very vague i couldnt tell were we are and what other details are there.
It was just like a happy memories coming back to me.
I was with her, we were having fun, sweet nothings, conversations etc.
But i couldn't tell were it ended, it just ended blank, then i went back to sleep and wake up for a new day.
That's it.

dreams4

2005-06-02T13:27:00.001+08:00

I just had a dream last night, and again it’s weird. Actually most of my dreams are weird and fortunately all of those are not happening yet to me because all my recent dreams are about death, but this one is not about death, it’s about Nicole (at last!) but a sad story though =(.

Setting: a place maybe someone’s apartment or our’s and the apartment next door is of nicole’s family. I dunno wat’s the time but the sun there is setting and my dream lasts till evening.

Characters: joel and mabel, nicole’s dad, my aunt (father’s side), nicole and me

Plot:
Pumunta si Nicole sa apartment, cguro niyaya ko lng sya pumunta. Nandun din sila joel at mabel. We were talking and the door is open. Kita sa labas pag my dumaan. Then sabi ko sandali lng my kukunin ako sa likuran namin tpos nakita ko dumaan papa nya, tpos nakita sya dun. Tinawag sya tas narinig ko pinapagalitan sya. Kinabahan ako umalis ako dumaan ako sa likod. Tumakbo ako palayo sa apartment. Tas nung malayo na ako, naicip ko balikan si Nicole. Sabi ko kailngan nya tulong ko dun. Di ako dpat tumakbo, haharapin ko papa nya. Bumalik ako, nandun si Nicole sa apartment, umiiyak. Pumasok ako, di nagsasalita papa nya nung dumating ako pero halatang galit sya. Pagpasok ko nakita ko ung tita ko, di ko alam kung bkit sya nandun kasama sila di naman sila magkakilala, tapos, nagsalita tita ko at pinagalitan ako. Di ko na maalala kung anu cnsbi skin, bsta alm ko gngmitan nya ko ng mga terms sa LAW lawyer kasi. Napaiyak ako, humingi ako ng sori at pasensya sa papa nya. Kinausap ko papa nya convincing ako ung my kasalanan at wag na nya pgalitan si Nicole. Next scene e sumakay sila sa car di ko alm kung san pupunta.Di nagsasalita si Nicole. Nktingin lng sya sakin very sad face habang paalis sila then bigla sabi nya “hntyin m ko”.., hbang nkatayo ako sa lbas,

Pgktpos nun,ngcng n ko…hehe ang drama ng dream ko noh…pro di po ako nag iimbento ng dreams, yan po tlga ung npnaginipan ko. eun.The EnD…

REAction:
WAAAAAAAAhhhh what the……!! Nu ibig sbhin nun?? Kakaiba, ngaun lng ako ngka dream na very detailed tlga ung mga naalala ko. di tulad ng iba na very vague.

La lng, gs2 ko lng ishare cn somebody pls interpret?hehe.….mabasa mo man to. Panaginip lang yan…wla snang violent rxn from you….eun….

2005-06-02T13:27:00.000+08:00

My Everyday since....(self pity)

2005-05-29T01:55:00.000+08:00

Warning: the contents of this contains depressive thought AGAIN, so if youve had enough of my pathetic posts, pls. dont read for your own sake. If you want to read it do so.

Its so difficult to live without her.

A day with her is so wonderful, but what sucks is that when Im with her time flies so fast i wouldnt even recognize it. On the other hand, a day, or worse, a life without her, is just like an eternity of suffering. Heart bleeding in pain, shouting, pleading for her to come back.

Sleepless nights are now haunting me. I still wait for her txt msgs.
Late at night, before I sleep, it became a routine that I put on my laptop, put off the lights, put on some mushy music, lie down, close my eyes, and lastly think of her, think of all the times, hoping that when I sleep, in my dreams she would appear. But unfortunate me, even in my dreams she doesn’t even want to see me. How pathetic that Im doin this ever since. What can I do? My fault, take the consequences.

I know in time, shell treat me as someone already. But Im afraid, that in that time, she found already someone wholl love her as much as I do, someone wholl not be dishonest with her.

As of ryt now, im jus waitng for the ryt time. The ball is not in my hands already to do the things I want to do.

Im stuck…

2005-05-18T15:36:00.000+08:00

NOBODY KNOWS
Tony Rich Project

I pretended I'm glad you went away These four walls closin' more every day And I'm dying inside And nobody knows it but me
Like a clown I put on a show The pain is real even if nobody knows Now I'm cryin' inside And nobody knows it but me

Why didn't I say The things I needed to say How could I let my angel get away Now my world is just a-tumblin' down I can see it so clearly But you're nowhere around

The nights are lonely The days are so sad And I just keep thinkin' about The love that we had And I'm missin' you And nobody knows it but me
I carry a smile when I'm broken in two Now I'm nobody without someone like you I'm tremblin' inside, and nobody knows it but me
I lie awake, its a quarter past three I'm screamin' at night As if I thought you'd hear me Yeah my heart is callin' you And nobody knows it but me
How blue can I get You could ask my heart But like a jigsaw puzzle its been torn all apart A million words couldn't say just how I feel A million years from now you know I'll be lovin' you still.
Tomorrow mornin' I'm hittin' the dusty road Gonna find you wherever, ever you might go I'm gonna unload my heart And hope you come back to me Said when the nights are lonely...

just don't know what to say...

Stupid Mistake-a pathetic post (pls dont read)

2005-05-18T15:26:00.000+08:00

How i wish i could turnback the hands of tym. I regret the things i didn't say to my love one.
Now hus not gonna get mad with all of this mistakes i did.
For all those years, i kept to her some personal things she should have known.
What can i do... i'm so chicken... i'm so afraid.... i dont know what to do...
And now, that i told her, i cant blame if she's mad at me. i don't know what to do.
My hopes are gone with her. All the trust i have with her, i know wala na.
I know she would not talk to me anymore, even text me.
What's the use of living? she was the girl i loved. She was the girl i trully love....
I'm gonna tell you all... I LOVE HER...AIKO,,,I LOVE you!.... This would be the last of it
You can erase me in your memory... I'm ashamed of myself.... Dont have the face to see you agen.
I wish i would shrink and blastlike a bubble at this moment....
for you aiko... im so sori....pls forgive me....

after this post....no one knows me....BLAST

and the countdown begins...

2005-05-17T22:44:00.000+08:00

5 yrs.? mbilis lng yun... so we'll make it 10!

10 yrs. of waiting...

tick tock tick tock....

i don't really care what will happen.... for me, i'm contented that we met.... it's up to us or destiny!!!!!

consolation if we still talk and friends at that time....

and a gold medal if we're still in love....

i'll wait... my dear....

The irony of my life

2005-05-17T22:20:00.000+08:00

Before i start my new post, jus wna congratulate everybody for passing biochem... thanks mainly to our prof...tnx sir! at ptawad nga pla at maiikli ung mga post ko... d ko lng tlga ma expound maxado ang mga thots na ko... so sna enjoy lng kau mgbasa ng ipinopost ko...kht non-sense or not applicable to everybody...So, tuloy ko na....

Eun, irony of my life...anu nga ba ung mga un?
= i want to fly, but unfortunately, i have acrophobia (level 10) 10 being the highest...hehe
= i am a psych major, but i do really like math. khit 3(tres) lng ako sa trigo at algeb...
= i am so happy when im happy, im so down when im sad (manic!)

waaaah.....la na maicip........ i'm drained........ haf day badminton las day........a month of summer classes...... a month of practicum........ sleepless nights........... headaches............fever.......... toothaches........ body aches..........summer heat!!!............. emotionally disturbed (sumtyms)............

drain drain drain..... but i don't regret all of those pains..... i enjoyed it..... ironical huh?! or what's dat that psychological term??shit i forgot.... haha.... anywei.... Gud day!

Reality Bites

2005-05-17T21:35:00.001+08:00

Reality bites... It really hurts when we can't do anything, as in anything, about something we really want to change or in some cases, something we want to be done... And so, it contradicts the cliche that the only constant thing in this world is "change." Why do somethings can't be change the way we wanted it? even for the benefit of someone, or even many?

I just ask those questions because i'm really feeling bad about something i really want to be done, but i can't do anything about it. I tried everything i could but it always get the better of me...well anyway, i know that there's some reason behind all these. I'll just hope for the better...

Reality Bites

2005-05-17T21:35:00.000+08:00

feelinbg wierd

2005-05-14T23:04:00.000+08:00

i dont know what strucked me this past few days. Though you are not seeing it, i'm feeling so bad and i don't even know what's the reason behind it. You know? there's just thess days that your heart pounds, your hands sweat, feeling nervous all night long, tension filling your room, headache which causes me sleeping so late without any reason at all, yes... your thinkin' im crazy, but it's true. Imagine this things rolled up into one feeling! bumer!

Destiny......in the making

2005-04-26T22:20:00.000+08:00

When i was child, i know that destiny is when something happen to you without you expecting it, it just come. But now as i grow old, its meaning grew deeper inside, especially when i fall in love with this girl, who changed my life completely.
Honestly, i don't believe in destiny. If you want someone, somethings, you can get it by hardwork and dedication. Now, you're askin', why the hell am i writing this destiny thing here???
The answer, it's because, i am waiting for it.
As you know, i'm courting her, but now, not anymore. We decided to call it quits...for now... for several reasons which i don't wnt to post here anymore. Something personal.
I told her, we'll wait for 5 more years, if she hadn't commit herself yet to anyone and also me, it's a sign from above, that me and her are really destined to be together.
That will also be the time that i'll be believing in destiny.

As of now, were really in good terms. And what's good, were the best of friends.=) Nothing changed. Jus lyk what i've recieved in a text mesage, "you can have most important and loved person in lyf, without even owning it/her."

Eun... so sori, medyo disorganized ung thots. not well written. But anyweiz, i hope u enjoy what i've written

AGAIN???

2005-04-09T01:46:00.000+08:00

hi! once again, im writing my....uhmmm new post maybe but not new to you bloggers... guess what it's about love again...AGAIN??? eh gusto ko magpost wla naman ako mapost e di yan nlang...hehe... so...here it goes...

What i learned when im in love....
1. perseverance- i learned to try and try until i succeed...whaa may the diveine providence help me AMEN...
2. patience- i learned to wait not only to be in a relationship but also when meeting with them and i'll wait for several minutes, worse HOURS...Girls!tsktsk... but remember, patience is a virtue.
3. happiness- i learned to smile and laugh even at corny jokes they tell...hahaha (imagine epai's sarcastic laugh)
4. loyalty and fear combined- i learned to be loyal especially when she tells me "o ano mambababae ka pa?" katakot kaya, or if you fell asleep when you are textin each other, be afraid and prepared of the texts she sends to you when you wake up!...wag ka nlng gumcing!
5. death- seriously, im afraid of death and i know everyone too, but now, i'm not, and it's because of her. When she went away, it's as good as death for me...i experienced it...
6. do 2 things simultaneously- talk to celfone while reviewing, eating, drinking, watching, and even sleeping!hehe...
7. do some poems- nagging makata ako pag inspired...
8. cry- i learned to cry not because she hurts me. She thought me how to be a true man...
9. sacrifice- such a great thing i learned... sacrifice for everything not only for love but also for friendship, studies, time, family, and everything.
10. unselfish/selfless love- i love without asking for a return. i love with all my heart. So if i love you, be thankful! I love ya'll mah frends and especially YOU!...
11. to do the things i think i can't do- when im in love, i can do things i thought i can't do... you'll be surprised what i'll do for the sake of it.

...you're thinkin kami na, honestly ndi pa... but am w8n... kht anu pa sbhin nyo... eka nga love moves in mysterious ways...hehe...

...There's so much to say but less time i have...gotta sleep... well, im sori if it's mushy and all again......tnx very much for still visiting my blog...
***the you, her, she in the sentences you know who she is, and you know who you are...***
till here...jus tag if you've got something to say, ok?bye!

my poem...

2004-10-23T01:34:00.000+08:00

hey guyz eto na naman ako... for my 3RD POST of the day!!!!hehe...sipag...la tlga ako maicip na ipost eh!... pramis last na to! share ko lng ung gnwa kong poem. tngkol sya sa love.eun... out of inspiration...=) but this is not meant for someone...

la pa kong maicip na title...

It's been a year since we let go of each other
Never knowing what lies ahead, is it easy or much harder?
I couldn't believe myself for what i've done
for it leaves me here, with so much more to say and things left undone.

Tomorrow has come and it's time to leave
Bearing with me is so much pain to grieve
Letting go of my feelings is the only way dear
To let me escape in this nightmare, believe me it's my greatest fear.

All the memories and tria;s we've been through, i'll never forget
The day that i met you, i'll never regret
For in that day you gave me the love, you made me complete
Your love for me girl, that's all that i need.

I could never understand the thing that you said
When you told me, hey!...Ive got new boy in my head.
What can i do, what can i say
I'm left unspoken, i am so broken

I want to fight for you, die for you
But it's too late when i found out, this shouldn't be true
I'm all alone, nothing's left for me
but the tears in your eyes, and the heart you once gave me.

I'm waiting in vain, baby it's you that i wanted
It's sad you're bound you can't let go
i'm still here baby, i'll never give up
To prove to you that i want you back

Sleepless nights, tears running down my cheeks
Thinkin of the vows we made to each other
I hope that you're still with me coz i still love you
i promise i'll never give up this fight unitl it's thorugh.

Haay...what can u say? hehe... la lng, jus thot of writing!... thnx!!!

???

2004-10-23T01:33:00.000+08:00

hmmm.... since i have nothing to post something interesting in my blog... eto nalang... para naman my bago d2 noh... sori kung wla akong maipost hinahangin pa utak ko hanggang ngaun enjoying the freedom of not studying...

well... this song is from the band Maroon5... i bought their album jus last week and the songs in it are hmmm...for me is so good,,, different styles of playing their songs makes their songs some kind of unique...

I don't know but i feel that this song is a reminder for all of those who get hurt in loving, to get back to reality and tell "hey there's a world out there don't jus sit there and w8 for nothin but heartaches from a girl/guy playing with your heart like a RAG dOll"... sna naman wlng naganto satin...(lightning!) =) ....here it goes...

RAG DOLL
maroon5

How ya feelin?
When the day has had its way with both of us
And oh! I've gone out of my way but im not free
From this pain im reelin
I was a fool to think someday you would come around
But no no no, I'm not thinkin that way
Cause now i see
You are not what you seem
You are a mystery to me
Sometimes I just want to scream
I think you should just go away cause
There's no necessity for you to stay
next time you come around my way
forget it baby you're not comin in
hows your day been, yeah
cause mine has taken straight and ugly turns
but no no no, i feel better today
cause im off my knees
you are not what you seem
you are a mystery to me
sometimes I just want to scream
I think you should just go away cause
theres no necessity for you to stay
next time you come around my way
forget it baby you're not comin in
a hot minute for a life of sorrow
no you cant come back tomorrow
shut my windows lock my doors
cause my heart wont be your rag doll anymore
yeah
I think you should just go away cause
theres no necessity for you to stay
next time you come around my way
forget it baby you're not comin in
a hot minute for a life of sorrow
no you cant come back tomorrow
shut my windows lock my doors
cause my heart wont be your rag doll anymore!
oh, yeah!
yeah!
(etc.)
cause my heart wont be your rag doll anymore!

lighter side...

2004-10-23T01:02:00.000+08:00

ayun! kakapost ko lng ng bgo... eh wla akong mgwa so nagpost ulit ako... well enough for those love love... wla muna yan sa bokabularyo ko...=) To the lighter side muna...

i dont know if you've heard, watched or read this before in a radio tv or newspapers.
This are the things that our parents usually taught us when we were still a kid especially our mothers na kasami natin palagi...

1.How to appreciate a job well done
mother: "kung kayong dalawa e magpapatayan, doon kayo sa labas! Mga puny*** kayo!kalilinis ko lang ng bahay!"

2. Religion
mother: "kapag ung mantsa di natanggal sa carpet, magdasal ka na."

3.Logic
mother: "kaya ganyan, dahil sinabi ko"

4. More Logic
mother: :Kapag ikaw nalaglag dyan sa bubong, ako lang ang manunuod ng sine"

5. Irony
m: "sige ngumalngal ka, bibigyan kitan ng iiyakan mo!"

6. Contortionism
m: "tngnan mo nga yang dumi sa likod ng leeg mo, tingnan mo!"

7. Behavior modification
father: "tatadyakan kita dyan, wag ka ngang nag-uumarte dyan na parang nanay mo!"

8. Anticipation
m: "tang'na kang bata ka! hintayin mong makarating tayo sa bahay...!"

9.Humor
m: "kapag naputol yang mga paa mo sa lawn mower, wag na wag kang tatakbo sa akin at lulumpuhin kita!..."

10. Genetics
m: "nagmana ka nga sa ama mong walanghya!"

11. Wisdom
m: "pag umabot ka na ng edad ko, saka mo pa lang maiintindihan ang lahat..."

HEhe.. im sure my nsbi rin ang mgaparents nyo khit isa dyan...=)
So up to here muna... la na tlga akong maicip eh!... s lht ng nghhntay ng mga post ko, eto na po!hehe...=) kita kits!!!...smyl! everythin will be fine!+)

love?

2004-09-22T01:10:00.000+08:00

love... for me now is jus a worthless word... no meaning at all...Maybe someone could give meaning to it agen...somehow, somewhere... i wish it would be sooner
some say love is touch and go... it's complicated... once you want her , she'll go away... once she tell u she loves you, you already forgot her... damn!cant think of anything to write, so sori if it's like this agen...

dream 2

2004-08-28T23:12:00.000+08:00

Another dream, wierd, it's the same as the first one. I'm confused if it has significance on my future... hmm... let me tell you...
I went to a bar alone, (i dont know exactly why id went there alone). After several hours of drinking, i found myself drunk!(hehe, gulo!), bsta nlasing ako... tas nun nung tumayo na ako, ung guy na una kong nakita, tnawag ko tas nkpag away ako... ung guy na un, bglang tumakbo. Then i saw another guy alone in his table...I furiously slam the steel chair behind him many times, and before i knew it, he was dead... I don't know what to do, i ran outside the bar and rode on my car... The end... i dont know what happened next... nagising na ako...
This dream is almost the same as the 1st, except iba ung gnamit kong pampatay...
yaiks! hehe... nu kya ibg sbhin nun???

LA LANG

2004-08-28T23:05:00.000+08:00

I’ve read again this book of mine in my high school days. this book is really for parents, la namang msma kung bashin db?... it's this book THE GOLDEN RULE no idea bout the author... it teaches 10 rules, ethics to be learned by every child or person... I’ll share one story I’ve read...
The measure of maturity is having someone to love... isn't it?
One late autumn afternoon, a mother put her five-year old son and his newborn baby sister on the front porch of their home to catch the last rays of the setting sun.
The little boy --- impressed with the big responsibility his mother had given him--- carefully guarded his tiny sister. The family dog--- a wonderful, fluffy old mutt--- stretched out contentedly and muzzled close to the children.
A neighbor, observing the tender scene, called out to the little boy, and asked, "What are you doing?"
Without hesitation, the little boy replied, "I am loving them."
Henry Stack Sullivan taught, " When the satisfaction of the security of another person becomes as significant a one's own, then love exists."

THE WORST WAY TO MISS SOMEONE...

2004-08-21T12:46:00.000+08:00

There was once this guy who is very
much in love with his girl...

This ROMANTIC GUY folded 1,000 pieces of paper cranes
as a gift to his girl...
Although, at that time he was just a small fry in his company,
his future doesn't seemed too bright,
they were very happy together...

Until one day,
his girl told him she was going to
Paris and will never come back.
She also told him that
she couldn't visualize
any future for the both of them,
so they went their own ways there and then...Heartbroken, the guy agreed.
But when he regains his confidence,
he worked hard day and night,
slogging his body and mind
just to make something out of him....

Finally with all these hard work and the help of friends,
this guy had set up his own company!
You never fail until you stop trying. One rainy day,
while this guy was driving,
he saw an elderly couple sharing an
umbrella the rain walking to some destination.
Even with the umbrella,
they were still drenched.
It didn't take him long to realize
those were his girl's parents...
With a heart in getting back at them,
he drove slowly beside the couple,
wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan...

He wanted them to know that he wasn't the same anymore;
he had his own company, car, condo, etc.
He made it!

Before the guy can realize,
the couple was walking towards a cemetery,
and he got out of his car and followed...

and he saw his girl,
a photograph of her smiling sweetly as ever at him from her tombstone
and he saw his paper cranes beside her...

Her parents saw him.
He asks them why had this happened.
They explained,

she did not leave for France at all...
She was ill with cancer...

She had believed that he will make it someday,
but she did not want to be his obstacle!!...
therefore she had chosen to leave him.

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to,
doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

She had wanted her parents to put his paper cranes beside her,
because, if the day comes when fate brings him to her again...
he can take some of those back with him..

Once you have loved,
you will always love...
For what's in your mind may escape
but what's in your heart will remain forever...

The guy just wept...

The worst way to miss someone
is to be sitting right beside them
knowing you can't have them.....
hope you would understand...

Find time to realize
that there is one person
who means so much to you,
for you might wake up one morning
losing that person
whom you thought meant nothing to you...

no vacation at all

2004-08-15T02:22:00.000+08:00

what a tiring week that was... good thing it's over... mostly, after prelims students like us (hmmm, coz some students still study right after). rest on weekends. But not me, here i am, burning my eyelashes (hehe) for the sake of our psych experiment report, researching through the net for so many hours. It's almost 3 and im still here. by the way she and gj were my companions in searching. whew! im exhausted. till here... cant think of any...nyt

psy humor

2004-08-13T22:51:00.000+08:00

Psychiatric Hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.

dreams

2004-07-21T22:08:00.000+08:00

I wonder where do dreams come from? Imaginations, fantasies, recent happenings, traumatic experiences, might be the source why we have one. Funny thing sometimes, our dreams do not relate to the happenings in our life. And sometimes it can come true. It can also be weird, like this one I dreamt of recently.
I was sitting in room with my crush, Kirsten dunst. Then I suddenly grabbed her in her neck, push her against the wall, and choked her to death. I lay her at the couch so if anybody went in to the room, they might think that she is only sleeping. Im so nervous at that time. Days have passed and still, nobody knew she was dead… Luckily, I woke up in reality grasping for my breath(don’t know why)…
See how weird it is? What’s the meaning of this dream? Am I gonna be killer someday???(gosh! Knock on wood!) haha! Another, bt kya ko nananaginip pg nka lay back ako,pero pag nkdapa,hindi naman… Anyweiz, whatever it is, Kirsten is still the best!hehe….

ganda nya noh? kainis!...hehe...=)

pambawi

2004-07-18T20:49:00.001+08:00

see the picture? tagal na nyan...that's the picture of my barkada last dec. (gay's debut)
Anyweiz, why did i post this? la lang! hehe... i jus thot of writing an article and a message to all of my friends who have been very supportive to me ever since...Ü
Who are the people who we consider as our friend/s? Do they need to be rich, good looking, famous?Someone who has power?not spiderman or superman, but those who are in the position like the son of a governor a mayor or a president?... Maybe they are to you maybe they're not. For me, i consider a person as my friend when they have the same thoughts as me, same likes and others.
My friends are the source my inspiration in studies(hehe!). I'm so sure that without them i wouldn't be here anymore in this university. On the first day of classes, I have no clue on how i would survive this kind of life in college. Luckily joel and sd are my highschool friends i have someone to talk to. I'm a shy type of person. I can't make friends that easy. They should be the first to approach me.
The first few friends i have in college are the guys in our block. Namely Gjeff, Alan, Caesar, SD, Joel, and especially lynard. Putsa wla na kong msbi!!! eto na lng
To gjeff...my bestfriend tuwing gabi (gbi lng) slamat plgi mo akong niyayaya uminom at magbilyar tuwing gbi... Ung mga secret natin, wlang makakaalam nun promise!
To alan...wla lang... bsta ntatatwa nlng ako sa kacornyhan mo...i appreciate it...
To Caesar... Sar! Ksma na namin ni gjeff tuwing gbi... hanga ako sa pagging chickboy mo! keep it up!
To joel... tnx sa pagulit ulit mo ng mga sinasabi nila. Minsan kasi di ko maintindihan at marinig. kya slamat.
To sd... Ung pagiging ot mo, kaya tau naging close! wag snang mwla yan! dito lang ako pag kailngn mo ng kausap!!!hehe
And to lynard... Pare! slamat sa pgiging matyga sa akin pag binabara kita! sori sa lhat!... bsta...un na un!
To all of my friends out there! tnx for ur support! i love you alL!!!Mwah!!!!

PUBLIC APOLOGY (hehe)

2004-07-17T12:27:00.000+08:00

ei, s lhat ng naoffend sa pinost ko... sorry!!! bawi ako sa next post ko... especially to lynard na napikon ata, tska kay cesar... bsta sa lahat...
burahin ko nalng yan...kung kailn ko gusto...joke..hehe peace!!!

LOOK!!!

2004-07-15T15:12:00.000+08:00

hey, let's see if can spot the difference... if therre is any...(hehe)

jelo...

sd...

alan...

gjeff...

joel...

lynard...

cesar...

hehe... sori d ko kyaa paliitin ung mgaa pics eh... mdyo di maayos... aun..till next time

whew!

2004-07-02T23:44:00.001+08:00

Another day... another adventure and stories. Today is friday and as usual its badminton day. New players were added. Trish, Tiff, George, Joel and mabelle. We group ourselves agen. My partner is gay. The first game was fine but the next games?don't ask. It's jus not my day on badminton. We lost 3 or 4? straight... i can blame my "pagppuyat" last nyt. me rhenz gj and sar played red alert until 2:30 in the morning. I was so exhausted. So to the one's who beats us, im not 100%! hehe... yabang noh?
After badminton me, gj, janel(gj's gf) and lynard(the very eager BOY who wants to watch his idol Spiderman) went to rob place. The 4 of us were so tired so we eat first. and guess were?hehe...(sa mga ksma nmin plgi manuod dun, alm nyo n kung saan). After thaT we watch Spiderman. (at last!!!!Lynard said!) Ü After that we went straight to our aprtment, rest, eat watch tv, listen to radio cards. and of course billiards and internet. That was a very tiring day! Imagine, we spent almost 12 hours outside our aprtment. 8:30am-830 pm. whew! hope u guys have a nice day!

passing by...

2004-06-17T17:01:00.000+08:00

ei... hehe, la lang, la kmi mgwa ni sd, kakatapos lng ng lit namin, punta kmi dito sa lib pra mag inet... la na kming pero eh...
excited na ko bukas, laro kc kmi ulit bukas nila pai ng badminton... gusto kasi nila kmi talunin ni sd...hehe
so... dito na lng, di naman kc ak mhlig magsulat eh, sa susunod n lng ulit...Ü

la lng...

2004-05-28T14:50:00.000+08:00

just testing...